the BJ dictionary

text_closeupSilly words often crop up and even find their way into standard dictionaries, like “dis”, which has converted the noun “disrespect” into a slang verb. Another example of a noun being converted to a verb is “task”; this one seems to have cropped up from the military. Ours is such a rich language, borrowing from languages all over the world, that this should not be necessary. Instead, let’s tweak the words we already have and create more salient new words. After all, this should not be only the domain of the advertising industry (There are no more doctors on TV ads — they are prescribers; no more used cars, just previously owned certified automobiles).
I would like to start off with a pronunciation change. “Dollop” should not stress the first syllable; that makes it sound like a fake-human spy action. Instead, think of the sound when you plop a big spoon of whipping cream on a hot apple pie — duh-LOP!
When my brother was panhandling, he used to go to Wall Street and sell boxes of scruples to the traders on the street. After all, who more needed them? Well, there are insurance companies and lawyers… Nonetheless, as one might expect, for a dollar the traders purchased a box of air. It’s only fair.
dictionarySome words I think Webster missed:
PERFURGER – the perfect hamburger
Of course, then PERFOG = the perfect hot dog
ROOTH – gentility; a roothless person has none; note I have corrected the spelling of ruthless
COUTHLESSNESS – lack of suavity. This should really be spelled coothlessness. Besides, that way coothless could rhyme with toothless for poets. Could come in handy …
RULY – the condition of being in order, as compared to being unruly. Probably should be spelled rooly
SURLY – the condition of having a lot of surl. While this word already exists, its definition does not. Probably should be spelled srly.
HAVE – pronounced with a long A – the condition of being obedient to rules. Example: parent tells child to be have.
TELEVERSION — the quality of television system you have. For instance, in version one you have a CRT screen, diodes, manual on/off and 13 channels. In version 10 you have a 60″ plasma screen, Xbox, hi-def, surround sound, 2000 channels and 14 remotes.
Dictionary_Thesaurus_2From Garfield syndicate – I couldn’t resist. Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
MOMAGE – the career of being a Mother. Some people just give birth to children. A person who practices Momage puts forth the effort to raise those children, giving advice and guidance when needed, and standing by and hurting for the children at other times.

I will be adding to this list as the thoughts pop up. If you have any to add, I would welcome the comment; that way I can give you credit.


magic lyrics

Close Up of Sheet MusicEvery once in a while a phrase in a song strikes me as a 4-star statement, worthy of a cross-stitch sampler. Two that crossed my mind today are:
“… you’re the only one I care enough to hurt about…”
“… You can spend all your time making love,
or you can spend all your love making time…”