Since college age, some of my positions have not changed.
I have no regrets about my actions – my heart is almost always “in the right place”, but I am often notoriously ignorant of other people’s perceptions. This causes me to be sorry that I may have hurt others’ feelings or even have caused damage. But there is nothing I can do about that.
With no regrets, I have been able to face death easily since the age of eighteen. I don’t expect to contribute anything to this world or even people close to me, and I haven’t in the past. There is nothing to hold me to this life, never has been since my children reached maturity.
When we bring children into this world, we owe them the best we can give them financially, emotionally and intellectually. By the time they reach maturity we have done all we could, good or bad. I had wanted to add color to my grandchildren’s lives, but that opportunity has escaped me.
I have come to the revelation that, while the “Happy Days” life style my parents afforded us died with them, I cannot adopt the loose or restrictive life styles my children have adopted. I was hoping to pass on some of the family traditions about meals, holidays, pleasant surroundings, stimulating conversations and laughter. But it looks like I won’t be able to; I can only hope that my children value some of these and will pass them on. In the meantime, that life style (albeit on a less grand scale) is mine to enjoy with myself and my friends.
In my perception of reincarnation, there is yet another life for me so leaving this life is alright. If my perception is wrong, there is literally nothing after this life – but then, as they say, I “won’t live to regret it.”